I'd Really Like to Eat a Child by Sylvianne Donnio, 32 pages
Whenever I saw this book, I knew I had to read it simply because of an inside joke among my friends that I'm sure no one else could possibly find funny. Anyway, the book stars a young crocodile child who is force fed bananas by his parents, and then one day decides he wants to eat meat. Specifically human child meat. His reasons remain unknown to the reader. His parents argue reason in that as a little crocodile, he couldn't possibly eat a whole child, but our hero remains headstrong and refuses his parents' counter offers of hotdogs and chocolate cake in hopes of eating a child of his own. Until one day, he comes across a little girl playing by the river. Not one wanting to miss out on this golden opportunity, the crocodile approaches the child. However, his parents were right all along and he is too small to eat this child, who ends up flinging he crocodile into the river by his tail. When his parents asked him what he's learned from the ordeal, it's that he must eat bananas to grow up big and then he can eat a child.
This book exists. It is real. And although it may not be the greatest children's book ever created, it actually is. Take that Cat in the Hat. But seriously, it teaches kids many valuable lessons, such as crocodiles can be easily flung and parents may think they know everything, but through determination one can prove them wrong. One thing I cannot seem to figure out though is if this was supposed to be a legitimate children's book or an adult book written as a children's book. Any way you slice it, though, this book is pure entertainment.